The last four weeks have been "fraught with loss and change" - full of new and mostly unpleasant situations, human responsibilities, and cares. In a futile attempt to keep myself from crumbling under the weight of human life, I subconsciously decided to push the Lord and my time with Him to the back-burner and getasmanythingsdoneasipossiblycaninoneday... without Him. Including making major life decisions. Including bearing anxiety. Including trying to find joy and satisfaction in my life.
But He is my loving and merciful God. Who wisely knows how to break through heart-crust. This time one of His wise master tools was the internet, of all things.
This Facebook post from A.P. - "The one who experiences the most transformation is the one who is most open to the Lord. - Watchman Nee"
This tidbit I listened to from my dropbox.com collection - "If you are not in the fellowship with the Son in a life-changing way daily, you will fall down..."
This blog post from V.Y. - "maybe you attempt in a humble spirit to actually touch the Lord but then
condemn yourself for doing all the above instead of coming to Him as
the Fountain of living waters."
Later in the evening, I was lying in bed, thoroughly engrossed in a novel, still busily ignoring the Lord. I had been craving comfort-food, but all the people I attempted to recruit for dinner plans were unavailable. Suddenly, surely motivated by hunger... and the Spirit, I sat up, put down my book, and said to the Lord, "Alright, Lord. Wanna go on a pizza date with me?" And He did. So I got in my car - with the Lord - and headed to Costco, and for the first time in a long time, talked to Him. The small sentences and phrases I had read earlier came up in my being. Those individuals had no idea, but their faithfulness to share their
portion had been God Himself ministering to me. Through His mercy, I opened to Him. I had life-changing fellowship with Him. I finally came back to Him as the Fountain of living waters.
Because of the aforementioned four weeks of troubles, I recently made this card for myself and a couple of my companions, which reminds me to have a thankful and rejoicing heart for at least one thing every day.
Yesterday, I thanked Him from the bottom of my heart for our pizza date. Because I asked Him to get pizza with me and He made me fall in love with Him again. There was no miraculous deliverance from all my situations and problems. But that's not really what I needed. My true need was a sweet Costco-pizza date with my dear Lord Jesus. :)